Kitchen Essential

We are all faced with situations where we need to save face, join the party, be the party or simply leave the party. The trick is to know when to do what. Read the etiquette section for tips on when not to be late (ever, according to our publisher!) and more about formal table settings to know which fork to stick in what and not be completely flustered by the mere sight of it. The wine section will help you fake it with the best of them. Then we give you the cocktail recipes for fun, hangover cures for necessity and cigars for style.

Basic etiquette

That scene from Pretty Woman where Julia Roberts, dressed in only a shirt, runs for help with the formal dinner table will be in your mind when you’re faced with a similar situation. But with a little bit of knowledge you can sit with ease at any table and look like you’re used to eating five stars, five settings every evening.

These are some very basic etiquette tips. Mostly they relate to when you’re a guest at a formal function at someone else’s home or at a restaurant, but they can be applied at home too.

Being a Guest

Follow these guidelines to become the perfect guest who is always invited to every occasion.

Gifts

We would suggest that you never arrive as a guest without a little something for the host or hostess. If you don’t know the person, something like beautifully packaged homemade soap may work better than a bottle of wine. Imagine how embarrassing it would be if you gave alcohol to a recovering alcoholic, or homemade jam to a diabetic. A bunch of flowers for the hostess is always a winner, and sure to earn you some brownie points.

If you know that the host or hostess doesn’t like to receive gifts, take your camera and lots of film. Next time you visit offer some photographs as a thank you.

Promptness

If you are hosting a party, it’s a good idea to tell your guests what time you will be serving dinner. If you’re waiting for someone who is late you should not make your other guests wait for longer than 20-30 minutes after that time before actually serving dinner.

If you’re the guest, it is simply rude to arrive late when invited to someone’s home if the invitation was accompanied by a specific time. Being late is never fashionable, not even in Cape Town! If you’re going to be late owing to unforeseen circumstances, phone your hosts to let them know.

Napkin

Always place the napkin in your lap when you first sit down. Fold it so that a quarter is folded over at the top. This provides you with double protection from spills.

Grace

Wait for the host or hostess to start before you start eating. If it is their custom to say a prayer before eating, you will not be embarrassed.

Noises

Do not slurp soup or blow on hot foods and beverages. Do not speak with food in your mouth (your mother was right all those years!) and if you must blow your nose, excuse yourself from the table.

Cell phones

We have become such a rude society with the advent of these useful little gadgets. Good manners would be to turn off your cell phone when you arrive at the party/restaurant or at the very least when you sit down to dinner. If you’re a mother with small children left with a babysitter or a doctor on call, these are of course good enough reasons to leave your cell phone on, preferably in silent or vibrating mode. No-one but you needs to know that you have a call.

Smoking

Never at the dinner table, unless your host lights up first. Always ask whether and where you are allowed to smoke. Most non-smokers will prefer that you step outside. If you’re hosting a party, remember to remove the ashtrays from the table before dinner is served. If you would prefer your guests not to smoke, don’t provide any ashtrays. If one of your guests asks for an ashtray, politely indicate that you would prefer smokers to indulge outside.

If you’re a guest and you cannot find an ashtray, do refrain from tipping in pot plants (a pet hate of ours). Rather ask your host or hostess for an ashtray after you’ve asked if it’s okay to smoke.

Follow-up

Always send a thank you note or SMS the next day.

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